A brief history of the dragiverse.
by [J]ustin and [M]artin
Not only did the queens bust out their ROYGBIV, but we were joined by extra special guests Pauly Perrette and Kelly “I live to take cheap shots at Christina Aguilera” Osbourne.
But first, the girls discussed Kenya’s departure. Phi Phi attempted to emote by telling us just how sad she was that Keyna was eliminated. Apparently they were best friends….because we all know that the only way for anyone to tolerate Phi Phi O’Hara is for there to be some kind of a language barrier. We assume this friendship was forged on a mutual inability to break stank face.
For this week’s mini challenge, Ru had the girls slap on some breast plates and soak up some spring break realness to the tune of Ru’s “Sexy Drag Queen” in a wet tshirt contest outside the RPDR studio.
Obviously Latrice, Chad and Willam tore this challenge apart.
And obviously we found ourselves pointing and laughing at Queefy O’Hara as both her breast plate and wig fell off, exposing the man underneath. Not surprised. Pull the layers back on this bitch and you’re left with nothing.
Willam won the challenge because, well, she’s a slut. Snaps for you, hunty.
Back in the workroom, Ru gave the girls a little history lesson on gay pride. For those of you who didn’t know (we’re looking at you, Jiggles), pride and the gay rights movement began at Stonewall in New York City, where a drag queen cast the first defiant stone that ended in a massive anti-establishment riot.
To honor that drag queen who had the Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent, Ru had the girls create their very own pride floats for the main challenge.
After winning the mini-challenge, Willam was tasked with assigning a different color of the rainbow to each of the queens for their floats:
Dida
Chad
Jiggly
Milan
Sharon
Latrice
Willam
Phi Phi
The girls began assembling their floats as they reflected on the Stonewall Riots. Jigglypuff, one of the two NYC queens, admitted to performing at Stonewall but knowing nothing about the history of the landmark.
Ru came into the workroom to get a sense of how everyone’s progress was coming. When he asked Jiggles what her concept was, her response was:
“*gaping mouth*………………….*gaping mouth*……….dreams are…….*gaping mouth*……possible.”
Willam annoyed everyone in the workroom with her cockiness (I love it) and Phi Phi continued to shower everyone with love, kindness and positivity (JUST KIDDING).
The Runway
Your favorites could never.
Chad brought out some showgirl drag and made everyone from Alexis “I can’t stop smiling” Mateo to Queefy O’Hara reevaluate their choices. Her float was pretty cute, too.
Dida looked adorbs in her red harem pants, but there was something about that shirt that looked like it was made by a 5 year old. Dida has a fantastic personality and she is creative as hell, but she’s missing that extra 2%. We think it’s a lack of polish, to be honest.
This queen is tragic. We don’t think she’s ever heard the expression “less is more,” and if she has, we’re sure she considers it to be an SAT-worthy concept.
Milan’s float boat looked like Big Bird had an abortion at sea. We get what she was going for, but the execution wasn’t cute.
F-L-A-W-L-E-S-S. We can’t get over how good her makeup looked. We have to hand it to her – last night at Boxers she admitted to absolutely hating the color green, but she took the idea of green as a representation of being “earthy,” (which she also admitted wasn’t a trait of hers) and ran with it.
Latrice never disappoints. Bitch always looks fierce. But we have to wonder what else she can bring. Sharon and Chad have shown us several dimensions of themselves, but Latrice has done similar looks every week. Granted, she does them well. But we don’t think we’re out of line for saying that we want more.
Willam sashayed down the runway wearing Carrie Bradshaw’s indigo blue Dolce and Gabbana coat (we can’t stop gagging over the eleganza). Unlike Carrie, she managed to maintain poise in a float that was littered with stickers of her face. She looked good and we fully support her winning this week’s challenge.
Queefy looked good here. She listened when Ru said that she needed to turn up the heat.
When it came time to LSFYL it was not surprising that the two kindergarten boats didn’t stay afloat, and Jigglypuff went up against Milan to Gaga’s gay pride anthem “Born This Way.”
Neither of these queens were strangers to lipsyncing for their lives. Needless to say, they both turned it out every time they were on the chopping block, so we knew this would be a great show.
But seeing as how Milan was in the bottom two for the third time in a row, we didn’t have high hopes for her.
Jiggly turned it out once again and tore Milan apart. Meanwhile, Milan was busy tearing off her wig and clothes. This is something we just never understand. Which unit in “Drag 101″ teaches queens that the best thing to do in a drag show is to get out of drag?
Never. That’s when.
Milan was sent sashaying, and Jiggly lives to sing another day.
Based on quality, we have to say that Milan is easily superior to Jiggles-and-bits. We sincerely love just about all of these queens (save Queefy) for one reason or another. But we are well beyond over Jiggly’s inability to keep up with the other contestants.
Jiggly wants us to know that she will take every single queen in her way down. We get it, she thinks she’s a boss because she sent two girls home. But perhaps she should be thinking more about the fact that the likes of Latrice and Chad have never been close to the bottom two. She should try sending them home, then maybe we’ll take her seriously.
