Frock the Vote!
by [J]ustin and [M]artin
This week the queens had to take a stand for their drag brethren and run for office as Commander in Ladyboy.
With the return of Absolut Czar Jeffrey Moran, The girls had to draw inspiration from various Absolut cocktails to design a pair of platform heels for the mini challenge. Queefy O’Hara won the mini challenge with her fruit covered heels. It’s saying a lot that we, as huge proponents of gifs and drag queens, refuse to post an image of her heels for being an eyesore.
Ru and Jeffrey must have had a lot of Absolut to deem this good for anything but a Chiquita Banana commercia prop reject.
For the main challenge, the lady boys had to run for president of the United States with the help of guest judge Dan Savage.
Sharon impressed, without being too spooky but sticking to her comedy roots, she was able to make her serious campaign hilarious, even getting a cackle out of Savage.
Chad Michaels created a new character wearing a pink poodle on her head.
As Dan Savage pointed out, if Michele Bachman can run for president, Chad “the lady pimp” Michaels should have no problem winning over the hearts of the American public.
Dida and Latrice were both mellow yet regal, and while they didn’t bring the comedy like the rest, they were channeling some serious Capitol Hill realness.
Phi Phi…oh Phi Phi, how we loathe you. During Queefy’s speech at the debate she brought out her inner racist Sarah Palin and referred to Dida and Latrice as “the help,” offending everyone ever.
Luckily latrice got retribution when she read Phi Phi to filth, proclaiming that she was at peace with Phi Phi’s ugliness.
On the runway, the queens channeled their inner Michelle Obama for some inaugural ball chic.
Chad Michaels was everything, giving us regal glamour and beauty. She owned that gown, that wig, and that whole stage
Dida Ritz, while maybe not up to par for a ball, looked fierce with her hair and came to snatch the other wigs. We still can’t help but feel like there is always something missing with her ensembles.
We are pretty sure Phi Phi wore a dress she’s already worn and took the feathers off. We will say one good thing about Phi Phi, she owns mediocrity and doesn’t budge for anyone.
Latrice kind of fumbled the runway in a bedazzled corset not worthy of the next president. But her mug was flawless. Ultimately this will be the fall of our beloved Latrice – her face is always beat and she is consistently beautiful in her night gowns…but that’s as far as it goes.
Sharon worked it out in a nude nearly see-through gown with black gloves and corset, and rocked a spooky yet glamorous wig and face. She turned it out yet again.
In the end, Chad and Sharon were the clear favorites, with Sharon emerging the victor.
To the world’s dismay, Queefy was safe and Dida and latrice had to LSFYL.
While Dida danced her heart out, Latrice served us Gladys Knight on a silver platter, and came out on top. Dida was ultimately asked to sashay away.
To no real surprise, Ru announced that for the second year in a row, Michele Visage with the help of her boy judges will get to bring back an eliminated queen for a second chance.
We really hope for Willam or the Princess, but our dram-meters are predicting Kenya Michaels to spark some more cat fights (i.e. that letter) among the girls and give Queefy a little pal.
But let’s think about this for a second. While Kenya is fierce and fishy and has some interesting outfits, it’s been very difficult for us to get to know her as anything other than that little girl who can’t keep her eyes open while she snaps and claps and does weird things with her mouth.
Not to mention, that Beyonce impersonation was embarrassing. With that said, could you REALLY see Kenya winning this and representing RuPaul in a tour across America in which she will have to speak English and be contractually obligated to keep her eyes open?
Willam, on the other hand, is ferocious as hell. We don’t know why she got kicked off (obviously) but it wasn’t because she was doing poorly in the competition. We want more Willam!
Stay tuned for next week!