The week we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived!
For the mini challenge, the girls had to dragify a Snuggie knock off into high fashion realness. Some of the queens ruled this challenge: Coco, Detox, Alaska (lets be real you all loved her lion realness mask) and Alyssa all looked good in a “formerly gorgeous now old mistress of a geisha house in a pink kimono kind of way.”
After the mini challenge, Ru told the girls exactly what they wanted to hear: this week’s main challenge would be the Snatch Game.
Alyssa wasn’t too thrilled though, but as Jinkx reminded her, you KNOW Snatch Game is coming when you audition for the show. Every contestant should have prepared a character (we already have ours. Justin = either Paula Dean or Sharon Osbourne, and Martin = either Britney or Sophia Vergara, GET INTO IT).
The panel was slightly underwhelming compared to last year, but definitely better than season three’s train wreck of a game show.
Jinkx KILLED it as Little Edie and definitely made everyone who’s never seen Grey Gardens go out and watch it. She was hilarious and like a true improv star played off of the other girls’ mistakes.
Alaska looked JUST like Lady Bunny and really nailed her personality. Her voice did sound a little bit like a dying bullfrog, but we don’t hold that against her.
Roxxxy’s Tamar Braxton was actually hilarious, while some others, mainly Ivy’s Marilyn, Detox’s Ke$ha, and Leneysha’s train wreck impersonation of Celia Cruz made us cringe. I’m sorry Ivy but you missed an opportunity for a Kennedy joke that Ru HANDED you on a silver platter, and let Jinkx take the glory).
Alyssa. What was with that Katy Perry? Come on, girr. How hard is it to be a blowup doll?
The safe girls were Alyssa (who was basically a plastic bag drifting through the wind, but had immunity this week), Jade who did a pretty good job of Taylor Swift, and Coco, who looked and sounded JUST like Janet Jackson, which is why she should be totes mort that she was only just safe, and not funny at all.
THE RUNWAY
The Sharks
Roxxxy Andrews
On the runway, Roxxxy owned everything, her clothes were right, her hair was right, it was a special delivery of diva.
Ivy Winters
Ivy’s goldfish inspired gown was cute and punny. Suffice to say, this was definitely what saved her from landing in the bottom two this week.
Jade Jolie
Loved Jade’s dominatrix look (minus the boots with the fur. Those needed to GO)
The Chicken of the Sea
Detox
Detox was the biggest let down on the runway…sorry but Jelly Fish realness. That’s not even a thing.
Alyssa Edwards
Same makeup every week. As Jade pointed out on Untucked, Alyssa is driving a BMW tonight (Body. Made. Wrong).
Coco Montrese
This looks like a combination of Chad Michaels’ one piece from last year and Kenya Michaels’ Nicki Minaj look(s). Combined…it just looks tired.
Lineysha
Looks beautiful, but is as sharp as she is smart. Also the one leg/one arm in lace throws the whole thing off balance.
To no one’s surprise, Jinkx won the challenge despite Michelle telling her she isn’t bringing enough glam to the runway, but whatever, she’s hilarious and you can all just DEAL.
Let’s face it, RuPaul and friends have always favored the glamazons. It’s getting a little old – variety is the spice of life AND drag. We could use more queens like Jinkx.
When it came time for the bottom, Ivy’s goldfish greatness saved her drowning Marilyn, and she was safe, putting Lineysha up against Detox. We knew this was gonna be good! Detox is one of the fiercest to ever be on the show, and we know Lineysha can turn it out when she wants to, and the two brought Cher the house down.
Now everyone knows Cher is Justin’s deity and number 1 diva goddess and that after the nuclear Apocalypse all that’ll be left living on earth will be cockroaches and Cher, seated on a throne made of lesser, basic bitches and their flopped albums. But, they really did pick the worst Cher song out there.
“Take Me Home,” her one attempt at Disco, was a number 1 hit in 1979 but that doesn’t mean we needed to hear it.
Tangent aside…both queens were fierce during this lip sync, but we have to say, Detox worked that bad costume out for the performance and served us the C.U.N.T we expect in our next drag superstar.
Lineysha was sent packing and no one lost sleep over it.
Somewhere in Pittsburgh, Sharon Needles is cackling manically as she sees that the hex she put on Lineysha worked. Never come for a witch’s girlfriend in an episode of Untucked.
Pittsburgh queens= 1, Puerto Rican queens= 0 with no title yet. What is that word Lineysha used? Desastre?
Next week the girls have to work together to record a “We Are The World” style charity song, and LAWD knows these bitches probably can’t sing a note. Should be interesting…
The t has spilled! We officially have more details on the upcoming RuPaul’s All Stars Drag Race!
A new season of Untucked! will be following All Stars Drag Race. It will be very interesting to watch these queens – who are now colleagues – interact and serve up some dramz. Will Tammie Brown stop being weird? Will Alexis Mateo’s receding hairline throw a drink at Mimi Imwurst? Will anyone understand Yara Sofia?!
Raja and Tyra were waiting in the ladies room to give the queens some sisterly advice. Raja stole the show and Tyra nodded and smiled a lot. It wasn’t until the latter got to kick the living crap out of Phi Phi O’Hara that she made herself useful.
Sharon gave us her own special Octopussy from Hell realness, with the return of her white contacts and snakelike fingers as she slithered down the runway.
PhiPhi delivered what was expected of her, while Chad Michaels channeled her superstar showgirl.
But it was Sharon Needles who pounced like a panther on the runway, crawling down the catwalk and working her prosthetic fingers to snatch the other queens’ wigs.
Whoa. Can you guys believe tonight’s finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race??? In sum:
#TeamNeedles
#TeamChadMichaels
#TeamAnyoneButQueefy
Phi Phi referenced Latrice’s jewelry malfunction on the runway, but it was Chad Michaels who stole the (puppet) show with her Phi Phi O’hara puppet in all of its snaggle-toothed glory.
Queefy, jealous that her dog was cuter than her, did not disappoint with some of her signature stank face over being paired with the ADORABLE bloodhound.
As always, the top 4 had to perform a Broadway style opening number to the ball, dressed as dogs themselves. It was cute but what we we really dying to see were the girls’ runway looks.
Phi Phi recycled Kenya Michael’s Nicki Minaj inspired wig and pink outfit with bedazzled pooper scooper…apparently Phi Phi needs a drag dictionary to understand what realness is. Her party girl look was fine, and though it pains us to see her succeed, her bloodhound inspired couture gave the judges what they wanted to see.
Latrice Royale underwhelmed with the day time look, though her face was perfectly beat, but her night club party girl look was flawless. In the end it was her couture look that left us wanting more, while gorgeous and simple, it just wasn’t quite enough for this stage of the game when everything depends on the wow factor.
Speaking of the wow factor, Sharon Needles delivered yet again a flawless runway performance, proving one final time that she’s the queen to beat. Her daytime look channeled casual Madonna and served a realness we haven’t seen before from her. The party girl gave us child star turned party diva on parole as she rocked ripped tights, hangover sunglasses, and an ankle bracelet. And always one to finish strong, Sharon’s final look was everything, matching white fur boots and giant curly white hair to her poodle pal.
Chad Michaels also gave some strong looks on the runway, with her daytime look flawlessly rocking a bob and beat face. The party girl look was good, though generic. It was in Chad’s last look that the controversy arose. While we thought her Cruella inspired hair and gorgeous fur wrap screamed diva, the judges thought it made her look dated.
In the end it came as no surprise that Sharon Needles won this challenge, giving her more main challenge wins than any queen in drag race history. Beat that Tyra Sanchez.
DILFs: Dads I’d Like to Frock
The girls had to decorate teddy bears and turn them into cuddly drag divas. Kenya won the mini challenge, trying to prove that her return was deserved (it wasn’t).
Sharon’s DILF proved to be a pain and got into some drama with Chad in the workroom. Luckily for Chad, she’s a fierce diva and her loving drag sister Sharon was having none of her DILF’s attitude.
Note to future contestants: DO NOT REMOVE YOUR DRAG. If there is any lesson to take away from this season, it’s that the splits are tired and you should NEVER remove everything that actually makes you a drag queen.
For the main challenge, the lady boys had to run for president of the United States with the help of guest judge Dan Savage.
As Dan Savage pointed out, if Michele Bachman can run for president, Chad “the lady pimp” Michaels should have no problem winning over the hearts of the American public.
Chad Michaels was everything, giving us regal glamour and beauty. She owned that gown, that wig, and that whole stage
Dida Ritz, while maybe not up to par for a ball, looked fierce with her hair and came to snatch the other wigs. We still can’t help but feel like there is always something missing with her ensembles.
We are pretty sure Phi Phi wore a dress she’s already worn and took the feathers off. We will say one good thing about Phi Phi, she owns mediocrity and doesn’t budge for anyone.
Latrice kind of fumbled the runway in a bedazzled corset not worthy of the next president. But her mug was flawless. Ultimately this will be the fall of our beloved Latrice – her face is always beat and she is consistently beautiful in her night gowns…but that’s as far as it goes.
Sharon worked it out in a nude nearly see-through gown with black gloves and corset, and rocked a spooky yet glamorous wig and face. She turned it out yet again.
